


hence these tears

by juvenileDREAMS



Series: Huening Kai-Centric drabbles collection [17]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Huening Kai-Centric, Keyword: Ghost, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:56:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24423880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juvenileDREAMS/pseuds/juvenileDREAMS
Summary: It funny, because even though he’s the one who died, it’s Soobin who stops being alive.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Huening Kai
Series: Huening Kai-Centric drabbles collection [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1407400
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	hence these tears

A loud clatter echoes from his side and Huening looks up in time to see Yeonjun dropping a paper bag onto Soobin’s kitchen table. "Sorry that Beomgyu couldn't come. He's stress cooking. Kind of like stress eating, minus the weight gain. And Taehyun… well, you know how he is."

Yeonjun unpacks each container as Soobin and Huening watch silently. Normally, Huening would have inhaled the food placed in front of him, but well; no physical hands. Also, his appetite is gone, among all his other human sensations.

"You got anything to drink?"

Yeonjun makes his way to the fridge, to find that it was unbearably empty. Just several bottles of beer and—

"What's this?"

"Don't. Touch that." It sounds physically painful for Soobin to voice those words.

Yeonjun takes another look at the frosted cake pan, before whispering, "Oh." For the longest time, he can't move from his spot as the fridge's cold vapors seep into the tiny kitchen. Finally, after a violent shiver, he takes out the rest of the packs, quietly closing the fridge door.

"He's been making a lot of meat." Yeonjun continues unpacking silverware as if nothing has just happened. "Meatballs, BBQ, steak, you name it. I can't really stop him because he almost looks happy when he's cooking. But then I also have to keep him from throwing everything in the trash when he's done."

Yeonjun stares at the small mountain of food with a slightly nauseous expression. With no small amount of resolution, he sits down and begins making his way through the beef stroganoff.

"Eat Soobin," he commands with a soft but stern voice.

Soobin sits dumbfounded for a while. Eventually, something in Yeonjun's glare makes him pick up a fork and start eating too.

Huening watches as his friends listlessly pick their way through the food. It’s not right. Food is supposed to make people happy; make them smile and laugh and content.

_"I miss being with you guys,"_ Huening says to no one in particular, his voice thick with emotion. _"Not like 'floating nearby', but actually 'being alive'… I wish I could have had more time. There are so many fun things we haven't done yet, ya know?"_

He would have been crying by now, if ghosts actually could. At least it’s easier to voice his thoughts without breaking down halfway through. He fixes a smile onto his face, instantly feeling the courage to continue.

_"But I was happy. Yeonjun, you were like an older brother to me. A stingy and bossy kind; but the best in the world."_

Huening takes a deep breath.

_"And Soobin,"_ he turns to the man, whose eyes are staring blankly at his plate. _"I loved you. No,"_ Huening tries to laugh off the sudden pang in his heart. _"I still love you. Always will, you know. You made me happy. And...and I wanna see you happy too."_

Yeonjun suddenly speaks up, "It was just bad luck."

Soobin puts his fork down.

"You can't keep blaming yourself like this. I mean, it's easy to; I did the same thing when my mom died. But you have to listen to me, Soobin. It was just bad luck."

Huening nods enthusiastically, though the tears fogging up his eyes are a dead give away.

_"Listen to him,”_ his voice breaks, _“Y-Yeonjun-hyung is always right, you know?"_

"I'm not saying you have to forgive yourself right this minute, but...” Yeonjun pauses, “You have to, eventually. You're the only one who's blaming yourself. You have to realize that."

_"You have to be happy too,"_ Huening adds even though he knows no one can hear him. _"Enough for the both of us. Ok?"_

"You can talk to us," Yeonjun goes on. "Any of us. Anytime. Doesn't matter if it sounds stupid in your head; just say it. We're here for you."

Another pause.

"Soobin. Don't do anything stupid, ok?"

Soobin doesn't reply to him. Yeonjun doesn’t press, and instead he gives a gentle squeeze on his shoulders before he leaves. As the silence takes over again, Huening looks into his eyes and sees nothing but emptiness and his heart _breaks_.

It funny, because even though he’s the one who died, it’s Soobin who stops being alive.


End file.
